From Theory to Practice

Moving foward in May

2008-05-26T21:00:00.002-05:00

Where did the time go?? Its already the end of May!!?? In terms of updates I got a new job!!!!???? And its great! I've been up and down but I really got some great advice and I purchased The DVD The Secret. Talk about eye opening! Check it out as soon as you can.

New Goals: 10 pounds per month.

I've always said I can't this its hard for me to do that but I am taking those words out of my vocab!

At this point I am have kept off 15 pounds. I am happy b/c a lot of people regain every pound back before they go back but since I gave or threw away most of my size 26s & 24s I had to get it together. I am excited about my journey and I'll do better with updates!

Last week I lost 1.6 anddd it wa TOM! Not bad!

Back on the block

2008-04-19T16:57:00.002-05:00

Weeeeelllll I know I've been MIA. I've had lot of ups and downs I am getting back into things there is still an issue with getting balance in more areas and this journey is one. But I went back to the gym and back to WW so awayyyy we go!

2008 is going to be GREAT!

2008-01-14T11:34:00.000-05:00

Well my Mom, my little sister & I made it back in one piece from our cruise! We all had a REALLY good time! The food was OUTRAGEOUS! I have yet to go to WI (lol) I have been to meeting though :0) I am hitting the gym in a good way not overdoing it and staying within my points I feel stronger and ready to make some goals a reality this year! 2008 is GONNA BE GREAT!

7 pounds....2 weeks!!!!!

2007-12-11T10:12:00.000-05:00

I have a really exciting report! I went back to my Saturday meetings and my leader was so happy to see me she hugged me :0) I told her I was going to Weds meeting b/c life has been crazy. A/w for the good news I LOST 7 POUNDS IN 2 WEEKS!!! I still cant believe it I went back over my journals to find it but I am at a loss. The only thing I can make of it is my body needs some higher calorie days and moderate exercise so it doesn't think its starving. I've tried the crazy 6 day a week, 2 hours a day and that's when my weight loss stopped but last year when I hit my 10% (29pounds) it took 4 months but it did come off and that's what I did I allowed 2-3 meals a week from eating out and worked out like 3-4 days a week 1 class or just treadmill or Lippy. I am still in shock. I am at the lowest I have been in this passport book which began 6/22/07!!!! WOW! It feels good!

The message boards have become soooo important to me on this journey. I am apart of 2 groups and we encourage each other my former workout/WW buddy has fallen by the wayside so that new support system have become so important to me.

I set some new goals 1) was to hit 40 pounds my Christmas which is less than 3 pounds away. 2) Is to do a Triathlon in 2008. I gave it a test run Sunday and did about 1/3 of a Tri at the gym...Whoa..yeahhh this is going to be something but I am excited!

Well..what...had...happened was

2007-11-27T08:13:00.000-05:00

I don't know yall! I can say I had my 1 year anniversary of hitting my 10% goal the day before Turkey Day and I am 1 pound less than I was last year this time so that is a victory. I am in a kinda funk with stress from school, work, and internship I have to do for this masters degree, and other stuff and my workouts have been the last thing on my mind. I am just not inspired to go to the gym, I've thought about it but like I said I am in a funk. I am happy that I bought some new suit sfor work and they were size 20's. I haven't worn a size 20 since the late 90's maybe and they fit well. I see a big difference between the way I look in my new stuff and the 24/26's its only a few sizes but makes a big difference. I am going to set a return date to the gym and get back on plan I think its the lack of sunlight that is affecting me when i leave for work its dark and when I come home its dark so its contributing to that blah feeling. This is the whole thing I struggle with Theory to Practice in theory I know working out will help lift this blah but in practice I am dragging my feet and not following through. But I am going to set a return date Thursday the 29th. I'll check back in with an update.

Its all about an attitude of gratitude!

2007-10-31T13:36:00.000-05:00

Its all about an attitude of gratitude!

Well a lot has gone on and I apologize for not updating like I should well I did the Baltimore ½ marathon! What a rush!!! It was an amazing feeling.

I was sore, tired and ultimately though I was so proud of myself. I realized afterwards that this is the first goal I have accomplished in almost a year! Last year I wanted to earn my 10% by Turkey day and the next big goal was the 50 pound mark and then this. I was able to go 4 weeks in a row but I gained in the 5th week :0( I was upset and I am still trying to get my head on right I think that starts with being grateful that I have lost as much weight as I have already and that I am so much more healthier than I was even a year ago. I think I stress myself out and its a vicious cycle. But I am getting there…

Here are a few photos!

3 weeks in a row

2007-09-22T13:15:00.000-05:00

Just a quick update I am down 3 weeks in a row! My max has been 4 weeks I want to keep that going! I have been doing 2 hours on the treadmill while watching the Biggest Loser at the gym! I have my 1/2 marathon in a few weeks so is good training! :0) I have had a few candy bars this past 3 weeks but still lost so that tells me moderation is key!

I began a class called De-stressing with Art great great class !!! Like I said months ago my lesson this year is balance so its a great addition!

No Lights, No fans, no music but ACTION!!!!

2007-09-13T05:53:00.000-05:00

WHY DO I LOVE MY GYM AND MY FELLOW GYM MEMBERS AT MY ALL WOMEN'S GYM?? B.C WE ARE ALL GANSTA!!!!! The power went out during Step and why did we all keep going!!!! lol We did the last 2 songs until the manager said we had to go for safety reasons b/c the entire strip was out! But the energy was amazing!!! We did old songs we all knew so we didn't need no stinkin' music, lights or fans...lol After they put us out (lol) some of the girls were running in the parking lot! Gansta I love it! I wanted to go to the new gym so I got in at least 1 full hour then I said to myself "You knowww if you had treadmill a home you'd be watching the Biggest Loser while walking on it...You couldddd be Jim Jones like gansta and go and walk for 2 & 1/2 hours..." as I drove up the hill to the new gym I debated it in the end I did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I did a total of 7.2 miles last night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They were split up so I could stretch and get extra water just like being on the 1/2 marathon trail I felt good about it my feet were hurting so was my back but it was all good!!!!!I came home and took a hot shower and some pills (lol) and went to sleep.
Doing things you are not sure you can do is a opportunity to learn about yourself and your limits...I love that
OH I am down .4 this week it was funny I was happier about that than I was about 2.6 last week...lol And I realized this is the first week since JUNE 22nd that I lost 2 weeks in a row! I have been up and down week after week!!! So I am going for 3 weeks in a row ! I am going to Ft. Laud. w/ my Mom this weekend I am still going to do core focus on salads and grilled seafood and come back with at least 2 more pounds off!

A busy weekend

2007-09-10T10:48:00.000-05:00

Busy, busy, busy weekend but I had fun. The chapter meeting went well it was good to see folks I havent seen in awhile. My Prez tried to guilt-me about 'not being around' and kept asking me where I've been. She said to not let anything distract me from my AKA goals...I told her I am not going back to the way I use to be and I am not. My mind is totally made up about that. The fact of the matter is I have other goals I am just not going to end up overweight, unhealthy, unhappy, over-worked, over-stressed, unmarried, no kids working day and night night and day for AKA...not gonna happen. Some of the other sorors I hang out with got into a convo about it and I said the same to them apparently the Prez told them to help reel me back in.... humph....I am picking one or two things to be involved in and THAT is it! I refuse to be the go-to person for everything and the best part of this that people have learned to do all that running for themselves.

I stayed at a soror's house made my way to church with her this morning and the service was great. The message was "It aint over, till its over" and the take away message was to not spend your time talking and stressing over issues just be still and know God is in control so stop talking about stuff the happened 10 years ago like it was last week learn to move on and push ahead with faith. It was an on time message for me b/c some how I have become THAT girl, that over 30 year old single no kids who is always talking about it and sometimes I hear myself and try to tell myself to stop and I can't at lunch yesterday at my girlefriend's birthday luncheon I kept quiet on the topic of men. Its not like..see got ready to dwell on it again.

Made it to Bally's why is it ghetto? My gym is SOOOOO nice I mean I can't do Bally's ever again. A/w I got my needs meet to burn some calories and work on my 1/2 marathon training. Went to lunch didn't over do it at the buffet and lo and behold my fave couisn and aunt (and her husband and my 2nd cousin) came into the country and called me and stopped by. Yes my people will fly internationally and land and call like they are coming from up the street. A/w of course I love my family and my Aunt always has something to say about my weight so as we are walking she says to her husband "She big 'e" *Insert Ja accent here" So I said what did you say and being Jamaican she repeated herself like it was ok I am all about me asserting my emotions etc so I said well I am 45.6 pounds smaller now and I am doing what I can to keep losing the right way I am eaing right and working out 5 days a week and its not going to drop off over night just like it didnt come on over night I am fine with that and that's all that really matters. My uncle smiled he likes anyone who can shut my Aunt up (lol) felt good when my cousin saw me see gave me a big hug and told me how good I looked so all in all it was a good day.

I am over in my points so we will see what happens Tuesday evening!

Your Time is Coming- Right on Time!

2007-09-07T11:48:00.000-05:00

Your Time is Coming
Today's Scripture
“For the vision is yet for an appointed time…though it tarry, wait for it” (Habakkuk 2:3 KJV).

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria
Your time is coming! The dreams and desires, the things you want to accomplish, the situations you want to see changed will happen. Just because it has taken a long time, or because you’ve tried and failed, don’t give up on those dreams. Don’t be complacent about pursuing what God has placed in your heart. I encourage you today — get your fire back! It may be taking a long time, but God is a faithful God. No matter how long it’s been, no matter how impossible it looks, if you’ll stay in faith, your time is coming. Every dream that’s in your heart, every promise that has taken root, God not only put it there, but He has every intention of bringing it to pass. Start declaring today, “My time is coming… God is working behind the scenes on my behalf… I will fulfill my destiny… I will fulfill the plan God has for my life!” As you declare and expect and wait for the appointed time, your faith will grow. Your hope will grow. And you’ll step into the destiny God has in store for you!
A Prayer for Today
Father in Heaven, I receive Your truth today. I receive Your promises today. I ask that You ignite my heart with Your holy fire so that I can pursue Your perfect plan for my life. Make my thoughts and words agreeable to Your will. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Down 2.6

2007-09-06T12:06:00.000-05:00

I am down 2.6 pounds this week! At first I was lukewarm about that I felt like I worke doh so hard and only got 2.6 however I thought about it and if I ONLY lost 2.6 for the last year and 3 months I'd be at goal so I'll 2.6 with a smile. This week is starting off rough I felt sick to my stomach all day yesterday and of course we all know chocolate fixes that

Today is NOT a good day

2007-08-29T13:35:00.000-05:00

I am up 3.6 pounds today and needless to say today is NOT good day for me. I am so upset about it so, so upset. I worked out 5 days in a row! I stayed within my points and I just don;t know why this has to be so damn hard for me. I was way over last week and skipped the weigh in so I may be down from last week's damage. I told myself I would not skip weigh-ins but I just couldn't take a gain last week and I just knew I worked so hard this week that I'd have to lose something, anything but to gain ughhhh I am so sad, angry, frustrated, and to be honest frustrated doesn't capture the real emotion behind what i am feeling. I am PMSing so I am trying to just focus and push thru. I am dong Core this week and we will see. I was saying to someone that my sister made the point a while ago that I was having too much fun on this diet and she is right... I am blessed and cursed to be around a lot of successful people and the blessing is it is good to see other people reaching their goal the curse is when you are not reaching your goal it can be very hard on you emotionally. The thing I can say about the really successful people is that they have changed a lot, and I mean a lot I have not I have cut back I have slowly tried o learn better coping skills instead of food but have I signed on 110% have I fully committed every fiber in me to this journey? No I have not and I tell myself I want this sooo badly s what is the hold up? What is the reason I still eat 2 ice cream cones in a day? Skinny cow or otherwise? what is the reason i get up and eat a turkey burger at midnight? Why do I still eat fast food way too often? The reason is I am not fully committed the way one needs to be fully committed to an overall lifestyle change. I am picking and choosing what parts of a happy and healthy lifestyle I want to follow and that is not going to yield the results I say I want. Maybe I am ok with being an 18/20 its been years since I wore that size...maybe I am ok with being the big girl other in the class look at and wonder wow how is she doing this and I can barely keep up? Maybe I like being where I am and outside pressure is saying I need to be better, look better, do better? I thought I knew the answers to these questions but now I am not so sure. I think I need to think about it why am I doing this? Is it true a goal or just some passing fancy, something new to do in my life since all my real goals have been realized like law school, buying a house, and pledging ? Those goals were unwavering and I never remember feeling like this..feeling like giving up maybe I did and I don't remember but I need to think about my true intentions here.

And that's the gotcha, gotcha!

2007-08-27T10:21:00.000-05:00

Well back to the grind! I have a nerve I am not even in court today. :0)

A/w I am still sore I took 2 aleves last night and rubbed some muscle reliever on my shoulder I aint fooling with Wii no more my sister and I were reenacting Venus and Serena last night and that heffa just wont lose! I got her I think once or twice. She aint got no job anyway she had time to practice..lol

A/w I feel so good I had a great time with my friend (a for real friend) this weekend he ended up staying for Sunday dinner. I was really in control we didn’t eat out once which is a huge deal for us. I worked out and what a role reversal from Christmas or New Years when I left him at my house and he was pissed I was gone for 3 hours and I felt guilty and couldn’t tell him. He enjoyed it and I think he respect my gym-gansta b/c he had to W-O-R-K! And I think I made really good alternatives available for myself for deserts etc. I sometimes wonder why this (meaning weight loss) is my struggle… Some people its their career they have no idea what they want to do never had that problem I wanted to be a lawyer since I was 10 yeas old...some people have family issues, I mean I am not dealing with high levels of dysfunction just average stuff… some people have serious money problems I could manage mine better but I’ve never been evicted or taken to court for mismanagement… even in terms of my love life I’ve been hurt but nothing that has scared me for life and sent me to a nunnery… I guess I should be thankful that the “issue” I am here left to deal with is something I can work on internally and make strides for the most part based solely on my actions… but I guess that’s the gotcha, gotcha shouldn’t this be easier? Wouldn’t I have greater success and commitment to myself than I would to my job, schooling, finances, etc? I guess it ebbs and flows for me right now... I feel strong I see myself doing better and better every day for the past 5 days and I guess it just makes me say why haven’t I done better all along? I planned to be at least 75 pounds down by now but as of last weigh in I am only 29 pounds down better than nothing for sure but it just makes me wonder sometimes… not wonder long enough to get depressed but wonder long enough to help me re-focus and stay recommitted to this journey

Week 2

2007-08-24T14:02:00.001-05:00

I went to Memphis for a friend's 30th birthday celebration it was fantastic!!!!! We did a day at the Spa and it made a world of difference in my life. I have never done an entire day at the spa and it was well worth it! I did well food wise while I was away but Sunday -Weds. when I came back. I was off...off. I put the breaks on it and got to the Safeway and planned my menus for the next few days. I was not in the mood to see a gain so i didn't go to my weekly meeting and who knows maybe I would have stayed the same but I am refocused and I am not using this as a means of denial rather an opportunity to refocus and move ahead. I will weigh in next Weds. and I am kicking my workouts back into gear. The Hilton in Memphis had THE BEST gym I have ever seen in a hotel! I was impressed so impressed I worked out for 2 hours..lol.. A/w got back home and was kinda MIA from the gym I got back in the groove went last night for 1 hour and went this morning at 6am for an hour. I saw an old 'friend' fro bootcamp we are going to workout together in the mornings. She is really nice and since my other workout buddy/weight watchers buddy has gone in another direction this will be helpful.

A/w I was reading on the 100+ board about someone who is at goal and they binged on some kudos bars and cereal and she asked when will this ever stop. Most people said its a matter of seeing the progress you have made over time b/c most of us can think back to what a real binge looks like, felt like, and that is progress to not be in that place anymore and not need that much food to mask whatever is going on. I know its a ongoing journey and it will pay off.

Week 1 and I'MMMM BACKKKKKK

2007-08-15T15:06:00.000-05:00

I AM DOWN 4.2 POUNDS!

I see myself making progress and it reassuring in a lot of ways. Looking back over this week makes me feel really good. The fact that I set my mind to really refocus on my weight loss and fitness goal and the fact that I was able to follow through helps me to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am wearing a pair of pants that were too tight to wear like 3 weeks ago and I threw them somewhere in the guestroom and I grabbed them this morning and lo and behold they fit again. It is hard to believe a few pounds can make so much of a difference. I have the benefit of having a very compliant body if I do right the weight always comes off. I realize I like a lot of other people who try to lose weight have so many other issues swimming around in my head that it’s the mental more than the physical that poses the biggest challenge. I remember reading an article I posted about losing weight and the Dr. in the article made the point that for a lot of people if they lose weight then they have to focus on the ‘real’ issues they face and I think that is so true. As the pounds go so do the other layers or barriers we put around ourselves, our minds, and our hearts. A/W I’m all deep on a Wednesday let me stop.

Spin tonight or Combat I’ll see and then maybe I’ll go swim I want at least 3 workouts in I can Spin 5:30-6:30 , Swim from 7-7:30 Thursday I can Spin 6-7am the meet w/ PT from 7:30-8:30pm then I have to preserve whatever I do to my hair. I wish I didn’t sweat so bad I’d squeeze in a spin class on Friday morning too but oh well there is always Monday!

Feelin' It

2007-08-11T14:46:00.000-05:00

I am feeling stronger more focused today. The reason I blog is so others can take this journey with me. Although I love to read other blogs of people trying to lose weight and become healthier I usually find them when they are already at goal and I always wish I could have been there along the way... Truth is I lost my way a few months ago I was talking a good game but not really focused on this goal. I have always been an all or nothing person and its been a way for me to cope and excel in whatever I focus on but that drive and focus is always to the detrament of other things.
For the past decade or so my college and law school education took front and center then pledging my sorority, then passing the bar, getting a good job, buying a house, etc took over and what made me go back to Weight Watchers last May 2006 was because every other thing on my "To Do list" was checked off. Seriously everything. I am not 100% on the married w/ children ideal yet and aside from more traveling around the world and the US every other goal is taken care of. At 30 years old that left one thing; this weight & health problem to address. I got back into dating a few months ago and I think that became my primary goal instead of losing weight and getting healthier. And of course it doesn't help when the guy you like likes you and says stuff like "I like you just the way you are" and tells you "You better not lose too much" but I am done with that I know he didn't mean any harm but this goal is about me getting to where I want to me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. So all that is to say when I made up my mind to focus again things began easier. The past few days have not been half as hard as the past few months. I was having such a problem saying no to candy bars, cakes, fast food but not this week. I mean gaining 15 pounds is all the wake up call I need and since this is still a goal of mine I am re energized and refocused like last year expect I am wiser and more convinced of my ability to succeed b/c I have done it already!

The thing I told myself last year was when I reach my 1st 1-10% goal it will be a good thing not just because I would have lost 29 pounds but b/c it will be the most weight I will have to lose! Every other 10% mark will be a smaller and smaller number so since I lost 29 surely I could lose 26 pounds, if I lost 26 surely I could lose 23 and so on and so on! That's all for today!

Back to reality

2007-08-09T12:02:00.001-05:00

Well last night I went thru my old WW stuff and I am going back to what works like planning my menu/meals and writing them down. I have been winging it for a minute and losing track of my points and what to eat and that doesn't work so back to basics. I found this quote in a sport magazine from the 2002 Boston marathon and it was right on time

ALL YOU NEED NOW IS TO WANT IT BAD ENOUGH

I really like that, how badly do I want this? I mean I am not doing this for a "man", or for "my children," or for the "class reunion" or all the other goals people use as the proverbial carrot they dangle in front of themselves to keep on track. All I have is me; and surely that is enough.

I have my sincere desire to be a happier & healthier person and that's all. And that IS enough!

Facing the facts... My 10%

2007-08-08T13:47:00.000-05:00

Last November I was sooo happy to reach my 10% Weight Watchers goal. I was updating my website and I just realized I am back to my 10% goal

Now I am so lost as to how I managed to lose and regain 16 pounds...I was at 45.6 pounds lost not too long ago. I can't let this fact depress me I have to use it to fuel me onto pressing on with my goal with more focus. Its a sobering realization however...

Star comes clean

2007-08-08T12:27:00.000-05:00

I bought the Glamour magazine its not that I did not know Star had weight loss surgery I just wanted to hear her story. My heart goes out to Star I felt and understood every word she said except my parents were always trying to reduce my eating and always had me in some activity to keep me active. That's probabaly b/c my parents were not overweight and worked at being fit Mom was always in the gym and Dad was always golfing and swimming etc. whereas she said most of her friends and family members were overweight as well.

I am still left wondering why she didn't do the therapy first. I try not to judge people who get GBS (gastric bypass surgery) but its hard for me to see someone like Star with all this money for Manolos and Jimmy Choos but she wouldnt invest in a personal trainer, nutritionist, life coach and whatever else to help her lose weight without the surgery. Money is a huge issue for a lot of women of color when it comes to losing weight and she has sooo much money...But that is not to say she didn't try that but I am still a lil dismayed that she had it done.

Also I thought it was interesting that she had it done before she met Al and how candid she was with him so early on. I think she said on their second date she told him.

A/w it seems Star is finally coming into her own the best way she could and I can't hate on her for that she is hopefully not just smaller but healthier as well.

Fully Committed

2007-08-04T13:36:00.000-05:00

Well just back from the gym. My friend A and my sister and I took water aerobics. I gained 2.8 pounds putting me back into a weight zip code I am not happy about. I know I had an off week but I worked out so maybe that minimized the real gain. A/w water aerobics wasnt all that great I did burn 560 calories-60% fat in 42 minutes. I needed a better workout than that so I swam for another 30 mins for another 616 calories -60% fat as well. Swimming is really great. Did a lil whirpool and steamroom and headed home. I was starving b/c I did not eat breakfast (I know) but I went to Chickflia and got the chargrilled chicken garden salad.

While I was swimming I thought to myself what would real commitment from me look like in this process..this journey? I mean when I give 110% TO ANYTHING it works out more times than not it works out better than I even planned. I am clearly going backwards since the spring and I gave away all my big clothes so I need to get on the right path to my goal.

I know the best approach to such a loafty goal is make small changes over time but in my case I am an all or nothing type of person and I would like to see what 100% would look like from me...I have not given 100% yet and I am not upset about that I think it allowed me to learn a lot along the way but maybe its what I need NOW... maybe that is what my personality requires NOW is to fully commit to this transformation.... this change... to become who I want to be. I am starting today I am going to do Core and really do it today. I will strive again tomorrow...and the next day...

Needless to say I bought the movie The 300 its a really good film aside from Gym Jones' input via the training it shows what being fully committed to a goal looks like in terms of the actors and their bodies and the message of the film. I wish I didn;t had ADHD b/c I could hold onto one anchor (as well call it in WW) to keep me motivated so The 300 is my latest reminder about what I can do as well.

Going to the movies to see Transformers

ADVICE FOR LIFE

2007-07-24T13:23:00.000-05:00

My Mom sent this to my sister & me and just said "Please read" I was thinking it was something deep or serious... lol... it is good advice though

ADVICE FOR LIFE

Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
* Live with the 3 E's: Energy, Enthusiasm, Empathy.
* Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
* Dream more while you are awake.
* Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat fewer foods that are manufactured in plants.
* Try to make at least 3 people smile each day.
* Clear your clutter from your house, your car, your desk, and let new and flowing energy into your life.
* Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, issues of the past, negative thoughts, or things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.
* Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum, but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
* Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
* Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
* Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
* You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
* Make peace with your past so it won't mess up the present.
* Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their Journey is all about.
* Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, and wear the fancy lingerie and pyjamas. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
* No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
* Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
* What other people think of you is none of your business.
* Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
* However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
* Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.
* Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful, or joyful.
* Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
* The best is yet to come.
* No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.
* Do the right thing.
* Call your mother and father often.
* Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
* Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass.

5 pounds

2007-07-24T08:38:00.002-05:00

Ladies & gents I lost 5 pounds last week. I was sooooo happy I am only 7 lbs away from my lowest and I am digging my heels in to get back to my 45 pounds loss and onward to my 50 lbs! Will keep you posted!

The article I posted about Emotional eating on msn made me think
http://health.msn.com/dietfitness/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100166042&GT1=10212

"Many people report to me that as they're approaching their goal weight they often sabotage themselves and all of their efforts. They wonder why that is. It doesn't seem to make any sense. In fact, you may be able to relate to that experience. The answer, time and again, proves to be simple: if you didn't have your weight to think about you might have to think about what's really bothering you, and that's very frightening, because I know that you feel powerless to change the things that really bother you."

This is sooo true I have been struggling with this for a long time and I can time it like clock work. Working thru all the other "issues" behind the weight is paramount!

Day 1

2007-07-24T08:38:00.001-05:00

Welll I began my weight lifting workout yesterday. I did anywhere between 40-50 pounds on about 8-9 different machines 3 set of 20 reps. I was upset about the number of reps but my trainer said (a few days ago) low weight, high reps to begin then I asked then less reps more weight? He said exactly so I did it and it was a challenge. I had to stop a few times during my sets but I did all of it. I can't lie there were some good looking Black men up in there and they had me a little distracted plus I left my ipod at home and you know when in Rome... I wore one of my nicer outfits got a few looks but focused on my workouts. :0) *patting self on the back*
A/w I burned 732 calories in 53 minutes and shocker 60% of the calories were from fat. Slow and steady...smarter not harder... I had a lil cardiocrack I took Body Attack its aerobics on crack and then sprinkled with a lil more crack... I burned 1,459 calories in 58 minutes and 40% was fat. My HR was way up most of the class which isn’t a bad thing b/c I wasn't able to workout all weekend and I need to burn some calories but my knee started to feel funny during the cool down I will do it every other week, alternate it with swimming or spin both are less jarring to the body. I use to dot hat class like 2-3 times a week...too much...I almost went into the spinning room to finish the class but stopped myself...It was hard to say no but I took my but home and I was starving needless to say so I had some grilled pesto chicken I prepped in advance and some low fat/whole grain Fettuccini and mushroom pasta from trader Joes with kale greens. Later I was still hungry so I had a bag of 98% ff kettle corn and watched Big Love and went to bed.

My Trainer

2007-07-18T10:50:00.000-05:00

Well today was my first day of personal training and he kicked our butts!!! I mean kicked our butts! It was good! We did a lot of stuff... we started with some Core stuff like planks, supermans, alternating ab work, hamstring stuff on that damn ball that killed our hamstrings over and over again. Then we did work with cones some football agility stuff that killed me I don't have good coordination, but I didn't fall I told him I am holding him responsiblie should my future husband see me laid out on the floor! Then a circuit of sorts were we used these really good bands and b/c I am a cardio-crack head I got all hyped and we did some 30 lb chest presses on the ball and used the ball against the wall to do squats with bicep curls and then overhead presses. *whew* he's good. Oh and then we did suicides which I have not done since high school! The best! I enjoyed it! We will meet with him tomorrow to do our individual assessments and go thru what I should be doing on our off days. I am excited!

Food wise I had a realization I not only eat b/c of my drama I eat b/c of other people's drama too! My co-worker broke up with her long time "boyfriend" and my answer was to walk to Subway and get cookies so we could talk. I had 2 she had 1 and I came back and looked them up on www.calorieking.com and they were 410 calories!!! Damnnnnnn theya re NOT that good! A/w it helped me to see I need todo like Weight Watchers says "Think First" I could have had some fruit or maybe 1 cookie instead of 2. But lessons we learn along the way. MSN had a good article about emotional eating and it really hit home Shrink Yourself: Say Goodbye to Emotional Eatinghttp://health.msn.com/dietfitness/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100166042&GT1=10212 Check it out !

One Year From Now

2007-07-16T14:08:00.001-05:00

I've been MIA I know life has been crazy, work, school, life. I been "dating" Ouuuuu Haaaaa (lol) he's cute but its not gonna work out and that's ok I am glad I wnet out it was nice to get out and have fun. Moving on I met with my personal trainer today. My sister got al gun-ho about him and was about to lay out over 500 bucks so I said why don't you ask him if we can split it and split the cost he worked out a great plan to have us each pay for 1/2 hr session but workout together for an hour. A/w I went up 4.2 pounds this week not good but I had a bunch of emotional stuff going on regarding this other guy I was dating and it was just a point blow-out every day plus its TOM. I couldnt even be mad at the scale I had this wicked snickers cheesecake Thursday and my food I've never had a food-gasim I've only heard of them and ladies and gents MY GAWD it was great. A/w done with washing away my tears with food and I need to put my game face back on. I am doing this 50 hour Mediation trainig and I did well on day one but all the snacks etc. got to me on day 2 & 3.

A/w the purpose of the post... Yesterday I set some goals for just this week as it realtes to the gym I think I am a lil bitter about my weigh going backwayrds when i was working out so hard and I eased up too much. My plan is to go back to working out in the mornings for the rest of the summer now if I go in the evenings that's just extra.

Monday ~6am- Body Pump
Tuesday~ 6am Brick Biking
Weds. ~6am Body Pump
Thursday~ 8:30 Spin 9:30 Flow (I'm off that day)
Friday~ 6am Step

This morning after Body Pump I met with the personal trainer my sister & I are going to use. He is funny and cool, except for the gold tooth but hey we're close to Baltimore what can you do? A/w he took my weight and body fat % and measurements. I let him know I already lost 45 pounds on my own and the last 4-5 months I have been losing a fraction of a pound here and for the most part gaining but I got some second hand info that has me thinking I was doing too much cardio and I want to push ahead with someone who knows what they are doing. We talked about my goals and did an assessment on the computer and I got a cool before and after printout. He asked where I wanted to be in 30 days I said a least 10 pounds down, 90 days around 25-30 pounds and in a year I said maybe another 40 or so he said how about we put down you want to be AT GOAL a year from now because YOU CAN DO IT! No sense in holding back! I liked that...lol.. He actually trained a Soror I know who looks GREAT! She had another trainer for over a year and loss a few inches but she didnt really lose her weight until she joined Weight watchers and the last bit he helped her with. So I think it'll work out well!
His plan is to have me cut my crack head cardio back in 1/2 from my old workouts of 10-14 classes he says I can do 2 pounds a week and work out 6 -20 minutes sessions a week I kissed my teeth but that's like a class and a half???!! We will see though. And he wants me to lift weights 4 times a week *eeekkk* My sister said he doesnt consider BodyPump lifting b/c its at a cardio pace and he aint lying I burned 1,318 calories this morning! 50% was fat which is good but I can see his point b/c I burn that much in a step or spin class! I am gonna see what happens if I listen and see what happens in one month.

Hips & Hair

2007-07-05T15:25:00.000-05:00

Someone I know whats to do a round table discussion with Black woman about getting healthier I came across this article and thought of her.

http://www.thejournalnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070511/LIFESTYLE01/705110305/1031

July...

2007-07-05T15:10:00.000-05:00

Where did the time go? How could it be July already? I am not anywhere near where I thought I would be (try saying that 3 times fast...lol) but I am still a long way from where I was last year. I am working out more after my foot issue and my cardio-crack head issue. I do miss it but it is so hot in the evenings I want to go back to am workouts. I am still doing this Boot camp at the other gym and I am still using my HRM I was up .8 last Friday I wasn't happy about it but I know my food has been wayyy off . I really just love food, rather I just really love using food to cope. I have such sympathy and empathy for alcoholics drug addicts now. I never really say food as an addiction in that sense but the same high/relief/etc they get from their drug of choice I get from mine. I remember someone saying food is a drug and as overweight people we wear our weakness for the world to see. Its so true their are "functioning" drug addicts and alcoholics they work, go to school, join the PTA, etc meanwhile back at the ranch they slowing killing themselves. My weight is a constant reminder that I need to change, improve, keep evolving into a healthier me.

Ahhh men where to begin. I really love men , like everything about them the way they smell, the way they walk, their bodies a/w I have been on a dating hiatus of sorts for quite sometime now but I keep saying I am ready to get back in the game. I went out Tuesday with a guy I met thru my job and let me just say dating had changed a hell of a lot! I don't regret going b/c I did enjoy myself granted the 2 appletinis had a lot to do with that but still I am glad I went but he isn't what I am looking for. It isn't b/c of his job, or salary, or education etc its strictly personality and we just have 2 competing priorities and goals in mind and they conflict. Ironically my ex- called out of the blue for years I said to people I only seem to attract stalkers and crazies so needless to say I had a bot of concern when he pooped up out of the blue after like a month and some weeks... A/w dating to me is kinda like my weight loss there are somethings I love to have but can't b/c they are counter productive to my efforts to become a happier and healthier person so I must do without them for the most part I may slip up every now and again but its just not a lifestyle I want to live any longer so I press on.

Moving Forward

2007-06-30T05:56:00.000-05:00

Letting new seeds take root... Joel Osteen is on I really love him he is coming to Baltimore in the fall cant wait. A/w I was taking in his message basically he was saying we need to be believers and not doubters and know that God has you in the plam of His hand...dont let your dreams or desires consume you trust God to do it His way.... That being said I aint been to church once this year... I am going Sunday morning 8am I'll go to the gym afterwards... In terms of inner work WW has a booklet called Tools for Living and its tools to help you reach your goals. They are helpful in all areas not just weight loss in my Staring Over group we learned some of these as well I am going to do them from time to time...
1. Winning Outcomes-What do I want
-It should be positive
-Specific
-Within Your Control
-A good fit for your life
Winning Outcomes can be short or long term
*Fitting into a fave oufit=short term
*Improve your health and gain confidence=long term
What do you want?
I want to reach my 50 pound goal by the end of the summer. =short term
I want to be a healtheir and stronger in all areas of my life=long term
2. Storyboarding -Keeps you motivated
What is the first thing that needs to happen for you to achieve your winning outcome? To reach my short term 50 pound goal I will need to workout more often and make better choices in terms of my diet.
What is the second thing that needs to happen? I will need to go back to my am workouts during the summer to avoid missing workout in the evening b/c of the weather and/or fatigue. In terms of eating better I need to stick to my planned menu and allow a "free" meal or 2 per week to avoid over eating or eating out too often.
The third? Committ to 3 am workouts per week. This week Tuesday -Boot camp, Weds 30-40 minutes on treadmill/Lippy, Thursday-Bootcamp, and if I want Friday 30-40 mins Treadmill/Lippy. In terms of diet- try a new meal this week to switch things up a bit.
The fourth- Jouranling as I go I have been journal AFTER rather than as I do things (working out or eating) journaling helps to keep me mindful of what I am doing.

Ahhhh this was helpful... Next week is gonna be a good week!

Another gain

2007-06-30T05:53:00.000-05:00

I went up .8 this week :0/ not happy but I know I acted a pur-d-fool I ate out several times this week Sunday on the road, and I had a chicken chesse steak sub, chicken strips and fries, Mc donalds after the kathy griffith show, didnt get in enough veggies or water...just acting a fool. I can seem to pinpoint what was the trigger this week I was anxious about some man issues but not enough I dont think to cause all that. I think I may still be a lil salty about the past 4 months of the back and forth with my weight and maybe just not focsued like I should be. Well now that I think about it stress from work boss lady's foolishness... Hummm makes sense...I only worked out on Monday b/c it was sooo hot in the evenings and I was soooo tired after work. I really wanted to get back on track I was saying to myself I need to go back to am workouts all week and if I can get back to the gym in the evening then fine its done just like last summer otherwise I'll have a week like this with great intentions and no actions. I hope I don't sound like I am beating up on myself I am trying to do some goal setting and reality checking is all....

My Polar F11

2007-06-26T11:59:00.000-05:00

This is some of my new workout plan and what my HRM is saying I am burning its really eye opening and its a useful tool to find the right balance.

6-14-07- Boot camp 53 mins, 1340 calories, 50% fat

6-16-07- Body Combat 47 mins, 1625, 25% fat :0/

6-18-07- 45 Spinning, 1040 calories, 50% fat
18 mins on Elpi, 430 calories, 50 % fat (machine said 1/2 that)
50 mins Body Flow, 627 calories, 55% fat
36 mins, Weights (upper & Lowe body), 762 calories, 50% fat

6-20-07-16mins Treadmill, 301 calories, 60% fat
41 mins Spinning, 916 calories, 55% fat
12 Body Attack, 321 calories, 45% fat

6-24-07- 40 mins Spinning, 951 calories, 50% fat
25 mins Treadmill, 537 calories, 55% fat (machine said 1/3 of that)

Well My 1 Year WW-versary Total & Balance

2007-06-26T10:55:00.000-05:00

Well my how time flies! Well I am at -37.2 total loss as of last Friday night. I went away 2 weeks ago and missed 2 meetings in a row when I came back I was up 6.6 pounds *eeek* But I KNEW I acted a fool and I guess it was part anger from working out so long and so hard and not getting to where I wanted to be and part of it was b/c I was with an old friend and got into old habits.

The take home lesson is that I did it and got back on track!!!! Once upon a time off track would meaning a 6 month lapse so I am happy to be in such a good place where I know this is my lifestyle not a diet. I am back to working out after my foot issue (I had a burning sensation on the top part of my foot) looks like its was my Brooks Beast that did me in something about where it rubs my foot I guess. That plus not working my way up to the Avon Walk going out the gate and doing 20 miles with one training walk was just not smart. I will follow the plan next year.

I had to stop my Weds. walk/run program b/c of my foot that sucked and I couldn't do the 5k on my 32nd birthday :0( or the one last Sunday but there will be others and right now I am super excited about my Polar F11 Heart rate monitor! It is THE BEST! I will post some of the numbers I am clocking and actually they are higher but I got it about 8 lbs ago and never raised the weight. If you are a serious workout person GET ONE! I now see what my friend's personal trainer was talking about in terms of doing too much cardio in one class I burned 1600 calories! Now when I got all pumped early spring I was doing 10-14 hours of cardio a week and couldn't understand why the scale was playing me now I know. A big part of that is b/c I was watching other people and seeign what worked for them thinking I needed to do the same thing. Lesson #2 Workout the best way that works for YOU! Some people's bodies respond and respond well to 2 hours of cardio a day others do not so pace yourself and listen to your body.

I try not to live a life with regrets but I so wish I would have realized that going that hard was the problem sooner. I wanted to hit my 75 lb mark by now but this is a journey with many lesson along the way and I can now work at it the right way. The PLUS SIDE is that I am 37. 2 pounds less than I was last year this time. I am in a size 20 vs. a size 26/28 I am happier & healthier. Just about off my high blood pressure meds and feeling good about where I am and where I am going to. Can't beat that!

I told my WW Leader that last year's theme was patience. This year's theme is balance. Not just in terms of diet and exercise but in life as a whole I threw myself head first into this plan to meet this goal, this life long goal and I blocked a lot of other things out like my sorority, work, school, etc. and that does not a happy & healthy life make!

I am getting back into the groove in other areas and working to find the right mix of cardio, weight training, Core work and food to get back on track I lost 1 pound last week so I am happy it was a pound in the right direction and we'll see this week. I can't lie I went back to counting calories to get a better sense of what I am doing in terms of my food and my HRM. I had a 5,000 calorie deficit so with that in mind and weighing in at night 1 pound is about right. My goal was to do C ore this week and I am I had a lot of non core foods but nothing over the top I am using my APs and moving on and hoping for good things on Saturday.

Almost 1 year ago

2007-06-10T16:57:00.000-05:00

Me (left) & lil Sis

Sssshhh dont tell our chapter President I took her sunglasses!

Uncle Dev (right), Me (middle), lil sister (left)

Me (right) & 2 of my Sorors

Next week will mark my offical 1 year WW anniversary. I had a rough 2 weeks a lot of stress and old patterns and I had a big gain but I am moving on. Here are some pics from a sorority event yesterday what a difference a year makes. Last year I was in a 26/28 and miserable this year I word a size 20/22 jeans and a top so I am still happy about my progress!

Mid-day rush!!!

2007-06-04T14:44:00.000-05:00

I went to the downtown gym for the noon spinning class its a 1/2 hour express class! I took it once a few months ago but now that I am trying to do the right combo of cardio, strenght training, flexibility class like yoga, pilates, etc. mid-day workouts are a good way to get some cardio in and not over do it. I did 10 mins on the treadmill to get a solid 40 mins. even though my Dr. said that was a no-no. But I tell ya I really enjoy working out. I will lift weights tomorrow. And this Sunday I am goign to try Hot Yoga one fo the other attorneys teaches the class and I am excited to try it!

Hot Yoga:
A series of poses performed in a heated room. The heat aids the stretching process while challenging the focus on the mind, enhancing the transformational experience of yoga. The heated environment relaxes the muscles while working up a sweat detoxifying the body and strengthening the heart. This incredible workout is cardiovascular and anaerobic. The benefits are: mental clarity, stress reduction, increase vitality, energy, blood circulation as well as strength and flexibility while improving your immunity. Amazing and fulfilling. ( 90 min.)

Sidelined

2007-06-03T17:07:00.001-05:00

Well I went to see my Dr. last Weds. b/c I have been having this burning sensation on the top of my foot. She gave me a Rx and told me I could nto workout for 7 days. My mouth hit the floor? This is my opportunity to detox yall! LOL I have to go cold turkey well not 100% she said I could do Yoga and the bike. I went to Ocean City this weekend the perfect end ot a crazy week which included a bad car accident I am fine my poor car on the other hand needs 3,500 worth of damage. I am not mad it could have been worst. I feel fine a lil sore around the upper part of my chest where the seatbelt held me from the windshield... A/w I overate this weekend its wild that the habit can come back so quickly. The person I went with is my old eating buddy but he has lost a bit of weight too. I did workout on the bike and lifted weights. I will buckle down an spin during lunch this week and try to swim at least 2xs

Work smarter, not harder

2007-05-28T04:59:00.000-05:00

What a great concept. Yesterday my WW/Workout buddy used her Polar F11 at the gym and se burned (are you ready for this) over 1,000 calories in spin, over 400 in Pump, and over 400 again in Body Flow (Yoga/Pilates mix) and the biggest shocker of the day in spin only 40% of her calories came from fat and in Pump and Body Flow 60% OF THE CALORIES BURNED CAME FROM FAT! I was blown away first of all that we have been killing ourselves b/c 3 classes on Sunday was the norm and that's after 3 on Saturday most times. That before I decided to go t the gym I did a google search and found an article about the book 'The No Cardio Diet" http://www.amazon.com/dp/1416949135?tag=ginmilfit-20&camp=14573&creative=327641&linkCode=as1&creativeASIN=1416949135&adid=1RJ17BM2E18QVJPYZGCX
The concept of the book is basically that in order to really lose weight you have to build muscle so doing aerobics, running, spinning, etc will not give you the results you really want weight lifting will. Now the title I think was to catch people's attention b/c the weight lifting is done at a cardio pace but the HRM proved it you need a certain limited amount of high intensity cardio mixed with moderate and low to lose fat. Now looking at the elliptical yesterday for the first time I understood the chart when I am usually on Lippy (as I call her) I am busting my heart out my heart rate is almost always in the cardio zone even though te chart clearly shows I have passed the fat burn zone I don't know what I was thinking. But I am in cardio rehab now! lol I do love the challenge and intensity but the drive behind doing allll of this is to lose weight so i need to see what combination my body needs to melt this fat off. I think my issue and concern was that if I didn't stay with it I would fall off all together but I have done the week off here skip a class or 3 there and gone back so I am sure a modified workout of 3- 4 days a week will work for me.

Sunday- Body Pump, Body Flow (2hrs)
Monday-Off
Tuesday- Body Flow, Boxing Bootcamp (2hrs)
Weds- 5k walking/jog program (1hr)
Thursday-AM Boot camp (1hr)
Friday- Off
Saturday- Rotate Body Step and Combat and outdoor activities like hiking, bike riding, white water rafting. (1-2hrs)

7-8 hours a week and we will see how it shakes out in a few weeks.

I wonder why this issue is no talked about more? MY WW?Workout buddy says its b/c people don't do this enough for it to be a problem like that. But I b others have gone thru this and just gave up if i wasnt for the fact that I wanted this soooooo badly this time around what would have happ'd to me? My 1 year anniversary is coming up and I am sure I'll hit my 50 lb mark I am happy b/c I am wearing things I have not been able to wear in over 1 years and feeling a lot better about myself but I can not help but wonder where I could have been if I would have invested in a trainer from the start like other people. Someone I know is down 89 pounds and her 1 year anniversary is in August. But the upside is I am not 43 pounds heavier or the same weight I was last year. My size 20 years got a lil room in 'em now so I aint mad but its on this summer roller skating, bowling, hiking, white water rafting! I can't wait !!!!

Too much cardio?

2007-05-27T05:31:00.000-05:00

Man oh man...Where do I begin? I went with my workout/ww buddy to get a heart rate monitor and on the way back home her personal trainer called to check in on her a/w they got to talking about it and how she plans to use it to clock her 10 hours of cardio for the week. He was quiet for a minute then asked with great concern "Who told you to do that?" She was quiet and then said "Me, I told myself its my goal" Well he went on about dong no more than 3 hours a week plus their 2 sessions and then something like yoga. She was quiet I was laughing and pointing. He asked her to trust him and she half-heartily said ok. We got to talking later and it got me to thinking baout my 4.4 weight loss last week my workout was as follows
Thursday-6:30am- Elip for 32 minutes & 30 mins upper body weights
Friday-n/a
1)Saturday-3 mile mall walk 8am-9am
BodyStep 50 mins
BodyCombat 50 mins
Esp de Corps-Strenght training/Core workout 30 mins
2)Sunday-Spin 8:30-9:30
Monday-n/a
3)Tuesday-Step 50 mins
Treadmill 30 mins
Boxing Boot camp-60 mins

Weds-n/a Weigh in 4.4
The food was not even 80% on point I had a lot of drama going on and I ate off a bit that week and I could not figure out how I lost I was hoping not to gain but to get a 4.4 spot (Biggest Loser marathon has been on..lol) I was confused okay now here is a typical week for us

Sunday- Spin 50 mins
Body Pump 50 mins
Body Attack 50 mins
Saturday- Step -50mins
Combat 50-mins
Esp de Corps- 30mins
Monday-Body Combat 50 mins
Tuesday-Body Step 50 mins
Body Pump 50 mins
Weds- Spin 50 mins
Body Attack 30 mins
Thursday- mostly off but occal'y Body Jam dance class
Friday- since mid spring there were Friday Happy Hour class-Spin/Combat/Attack
Ohhh and last month I was doing a Boo camp class at 5:30 am and staying on Tuesday and Thursday for Combat & Step....

See the difference? I can look back over the last 3 months and see I been fighting to lose these last few pounds to my 50 goal. And the more I thought about what her trainer was saying the more I realized as I worked out more and more sometimes I would gain or not lose as much. Last week was b/c I was just out of it emotionally I only worked out on Sunday and lost .6 and it was not a perfect week I had M&M like 2 or 3 times, ate out 3 or 4 times and again only worked out on Sunday and lost weight. So it got me to thinking maybe he is on to something. I told my friend you know what we went to school for law and thats what we know and that's what we do he is a trainer let's see what happens!

This is a true test week I will cut back to 4 days and 1 cardio class a day and add Body Flow or Body Vive 2 times and see what happens. I did some web searching and found a number of articles about over exercising and came across this book called the No Cardio Diet here's a clip. I am not sure I buy it 110% but I think there is something to doing less cardio and more training with weights for max. results. I am happy with my weight loss 43.6 as of yesterday my max loss to day is 45.6 in less than 1 year but I want to move to phase 2 and I think being reflective in any thin we do is necessary for growth. I think in terms of cardio I just never saw it as a bad thing or something that could get out of balance. Most information is telling you to do cardio the only thing is I reread a lot of my books and articles they ALL say 3-4 days a week a mini. of 430 mins. no one is saying do 3 classes in a day. Balance.

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Books/story?id=3026698&page=1

Where did May go

2007-05-21T12:22:00.000-05:00

I cannot believe its already the end of May. Well I had a blow-out weekend well really a blow out Saturday. I attended a very important meeting and had a chance to hob-nob with the leaders of the 9 BGLO's it was a great experience. I had a chance to tel my sorority's national president about my weight loss efforts :0) I let her know I plan to get some recognition in 2008! A/w I am feeling good today, I am still battling some 'relationship issues' Its really like my weigth loss journey in a lot of ways. I am not making the best choices and its hard to break old familiar patterns but I press on. I went to a martini party after the symposium and had a great time! I forced myself to go home early b/c I had to go to the gym for the 8:30am spin class. I made it and the 50m& Fab teacher was there teaching Body step so I took that instead I really tried to push myself and I used the risers for a good portion of the class. I then took Body pump and finally used real weights...lol.. I been using the weighted bars for a few months...time to move on. Its hard to get it all right, like I missed Church this week but I am not going to beat myself up I am going to get there....

Down 4.4 pounds!!!!

2007-05-17T10:50:00.001-05:00

Well I had a great weigh in I am down 4.4 pounds!!!! Yeahhhhhh!!! I began a new bootcamp at another gym w/ my co-worker and it was great a whole hour of good cardio and ST!!!

A better day

2007-05-16T14:56:00.000-05:00

Well today I feel a lot better today! Court went very well, I wore a cute new outfit everyone commented on nice I looked! All in all it went well! Yesterday I met with my annoying professor and even that went well! I am going to weigh in tonight after another quick meeting at 5pm and it looks like the run/walk program may be a wash out b/c of the rain. Yesterday I did a class with one of my spin instructors she teaches Boxing at another gym OH MY GOODNESS WHAT A RUSH! She kicked my arse big time! It was a series of drills and like madwoman stuff like 30,20, 10 kicks on both sides then 80,60,40,20 jabs and crosses, and 50 high knees and then sprints and doing the plank on Boscu ball! What a rush I am sure I will hit my 50 in the next few weeks if I keep that up and watch my food intake. Feeling good... There are other things I am not feeling too good about but I will find a way to make peace with that in time and hopefully grow out of the situation its not great but it'll do for now to help me along..vague i know sorry about that :0)

Getting it all right

2007-05-15T08:54:00.000-05:00

I am not sure what my issue is with 'getting it all right' I tried to avoid poor spending and an unhealthy relationship and go back to church and tighten up my eating and it all goes to hell. Am I putting too much pressure on myself? Am I afraid of succeeding at this; this meaning being a happy & healthy person. Who would fear that? I guess its just a case of the the unfamiliar. I have not know success like this..I have not worn sizes like this in years...I have not cared this much for myself in a long time...is the concept of putting my needs and my self worth ahead of everything else that foreign to me I can't move pat this rut I am in. I dunno a/w I was at the extra stressful office yesterday and ya know what there was NO drama ONLY the drama I created! I went out to mail my resume and the girls went for McD's we got an extra order of small fires and I ate it I ordered a fruit parfait but after seeing the other person with the low fat ice cream I got that instead mind you I already had a great lunch. Someone had Doritos and I had some... I went home instead of the gym as planned and ate 2 98% fat free hot dogs w/2 martin rolls ...doesn't seem like much buttt there's more...then I had another martin roll w/ a small turkey burger. In total I had over 45 points when I am allowed 31 and I am on Core so I basically blew my left over budget/flex points in a day. And the biggest issue is I wasn't that hungry. Stuffing emotions sucks and there we have it. A bad day. I know it could have been worst I could have (as I have done in the past) gone to McD's after work and got a value meal and a double cheese burger. I know that but the behavior is still the same and is still the issue.

My journey

2007-05-14T09:00:00.000-05:00

Well as part of my journey to wellness its a mind, body, and spiritual improvement but lately I been slacking on spiritual side.. well since New Year's eve actually. I went to visit another church this Sunday still wasn't the right fit for me but I was happy to be there and get The Word. I began today with reading the Bible, I was starting reading on Psalm per day but I saw Job right before so I said let me go there and it was a good read for me to keep in mind. Job faced a lot of illness, pain, misfortune and never cursed or blamed God even when he got almost there he had a strong circle of friends who reminded him of who God is and it helped him to refocus. Baby steps...

Monday already

2007-05-14T08:31:00.000-05:00

Well its Monday allll over again! Well I went up 2.4 last Weds. I see I need to kick it back into gear I went back to the gym Saturday it has been maybe 2 weeks since I took that Saturday Body Combat class and it was OFF THE HOOK! My fave teacher was there and she worked us oooouttttt! She started picking on me in class I hear that's a good sign. She told me while I was doing some ab work that I need to before at THIS level. And it hurt but a good hurt I need to lose this weight so I can be in great form to do the Les Mils certification next Spring. I am going to get a personal trainer. I am broke as all get out but as God would have it I met someone last week at the run/walk program who goes to a local guy who is dirt cheap so I am going to get his info Wed.! My WW?Workout buddy found one and she starts Tuesday I am happy for her I think she was a lil hesitant to tell me b/c we were looking to do group teaching but I started feeling like I wanted this time for myself we are not in the same place and that move is for the best. I told her I am all about us being sucessful by any means other than gastric!

I made it! Miles & Money!

2007-05-09T07:53:00.000-05:00

Well I survived my 2 Day Avon Breast Cancer Walk! I had a great time! The people were wonderful and we raised 7.3 MILLION DOLLARS!!!!! I exceeded my goal by almost $500! I already registered for next year's walk! So I'll keep you posted! I posted the link to my web page about my experience! I have not WI since last week hopefully I went down a lil. They feed us like crazy and I ate (lol) I tried to stick to the fruits and trial mix but I had my fair share of Peanut butter and jelly on graham cracker sandwiches and chocolate and cookies too! The best part was the people of MD & Dc came alive for us and cheered us on along the way! Can't wait for 2008! Check out my webpage & show me some luv! http://www.freewebs.com/cyliasavonwalk/

Where the mind goes the butt will follow!

2007-05-02T15:08:00.000-05:00

I was reading a blog and they had a link to an Oprah article and it reminded me of the above quote. I have gone back and forth with this weight loss thing forever but last year I truly made up my mind that it was truly a goal I had and wanted to see thru. I have been back and forth for weeks trying to get to my 50 lb mark and I can't seem to break thru but have I truly made up my mind to do it? Is the idea of losing 50 pounds so big a deal to me that I am stuck? I know how to move forward with my weight loss the 41-45.6 pounds I have lost thus far prove that but I just realized 50 pounds is a big deal its new and scary and there are reasons why I gained so much weight and those "issues" still linger even if only under the surface. Like today i wore a cute shirt my WW/Workout buddy and another woman in another office were the only 2 people to say I looked nice and how slimming the shirt was. Everyone took a double take so I know they saw something new/different about me but they didn't say anything. I like being liked. I am a big people pleaser is that a fear that if I move outside of the frumpy dressed box I will be disliked? Maybe but does how I feel about the way I look overcome that? It has to b/c I want this more than anything else even kudos from coworkers... so I press forward. Please check out the article!
http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/200509/omag_200509_mission.jhtml
It's time for you to break on through! Get unstuck, and do that thing you've been aching to do. Find your inspiration with the September mission calendar.
WHAT I KNOW FOR SURENothing happens until you decide. Years ago on my show, a young mother shared her frustration with getting her son to go to bed. Her son was 3 and ruling the house. He wanted to sleep in her bed and refused to lie down in his own. The more the mother insisted, the more the child resisted—yelling, screaming, and literally dropping from exhaustion.
We showed a tape of the two of them wrestling it out. When our expert, Dr. Stanley Turecki, finished watching, he said something that made the hairs on my arm stand up: "Nothing happens until you decide." The reason her 3-year-old didn't sleep in his own bed was that the mother had not decided it would happen. When she did, the child would go to his bed. He might cry and scream and rant until he fell asleep, but he would eventually realize that his mother had made up her mind.
Well, I knew he was speaking about a 3-year-old, but I also knew for sure that this brilliant piece of advice applied to many other aspects of life: Relationships. Career moves. Weight issues. Everything depends on your decisions.
For years I was stuck in a weight trap, yo-yoing up and down the scale. I made a decision two years ago to stop wishing, praying, and wanting, wanting, wanting to be better. Instead I figured out what it would really take to improve my life. Then I decided to do it.
When you don't know what to do, my best advice is to do nothing until clarity comes. Getting still, being able to hear your own voice and not the voices of the world, quickens clarity. Once you decide what you want, you make a commitment to that decision. One of my favorite quotes is from mountaineer W.H. Murray:
"Until one is committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves, too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets: "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. / Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it."
Make a decision, and watch your life move forward.

The Green-eyed monster

2007-05-02T10:11:00.000-05:00

Ok so last night I get a friend request on myspace the
person looked vaugely familiar but I was like whooo is this I couldnt get to see more details until I was a friend so I accepted and lo and behold it is a girl from high school! OH MY GOD SHE LOOKED SOOOOOOOO BEAUTIFUL!!! We went to high school together I was so shocked I mean she was always a pretty girl but she looked model good I mean BEAUITFUL!

I hardly ever get the green-eyed monster but I aint gonna lie I got jealous! Hell she is a year older than me (lol) and she looks 10 years younger! She was always the sweetest girl and we lost touch yearsss ago but my goodness I actually called my WW/Workout buddy and was telling her about it and how seeing her lit a fire in me and not just b/c she looked so beautiful but she looked healthy and happy and I was like there is a light in her eyes in every picture I want that! Of course I don't know what is really going on with her life but from appearances she looks happy!

Last night my WW/Workout buddy went shopping while we were out we got dinner from Bill Bateman's I totally over ate and I don't know why. I did clean my plate but I could have stopped a lot sooner than I did. But I got up at 6am and went to the gym did 10 mins elp and my own 30 mins of spin I got a good sweat and tonight I begin my running program. A/w I worn one of the new blouses I bought and I look good!

My year in review

2007-05-01T12:03:00.000-05:00

WOW! Where did the weeks, months, the year go? Last May was when I went back to WW I did fall off again but got back much faster than in the past. A lot happened to me in May 2006 to see May 2007 here already seems surreal. One goal I had was to not be in the same place emotionally, physically, or spiritually in 2007 and I think I did all 3.

I am 41 pounds lighter, I am in a size 20 with room give or take the cut (heck I am in some 14/16s as well..lol) in 2006 I was in a size 26/28, I found a church home and went pretty regularly but fell off a bit b/c of my Sunday workout routine but I am praying more, journaling more and getting in touch with my feelings more. I walk/jogged a 5K, did a 5:30 am bootcamp for 3 weeks, and I am feeling so good about myself. My good friend and law school classmate told me some of her male co-workers made some very flattering remarks about me put a smile on my face. I got rid of a realtionship/situation that began last May and I surely did not want to hit a 1 year mark with that. All in all its been a great year and I want to keep pushing ahead. I still have a theroy to practice delimma with my impluses I wanted to eat at Bonefish last night (really I wante dit Saturday but it was an hour wait) so I called my friend and we went I had a cesar salad (dressing on the side)and the bang bang shrimp(which is an appertizer) and then I had brownie desert. I didn't and still dont feel guilty b/c I remember when eating like that was done every other day. I am still learning which is why I think this blog and other like it are sooo important its not about being perfect everyday its about a lifestyle and having ups and downs and doing what works not in the short term but long term and if splurging once in a while does it for you then do that. I won't have the urge to do that anytime soon so I feel no guilt! I want to work on impluse control though ie., planning something like that in advance. My WW/Workout buddy calls it her "wait a day rule" if you want something just wait a day to get it. I have not employed that in a while to be honest. I woke up still full and had a fruit for breakfast I had a lunch a lil while ago and a snack and I am good. I may not make it to the gym whihc will mean 1 full week of being MIA but again its not avoiding it its just having a lot of other activities crowding my time. I have my 2 day walk onSat and Sunday so I figure I'll need the rest anyway :0)

Avon Breast Cancer Walk!

2007-04-30T13:46:00.000-05:00

Well I made my Avon Breast Cancer Walk goal!!!! Today I have $1,508 on line and another $485 with me between checks and cash! Meaning *drum roll please* grand total of $1,993 exceeding my goal of $1,800!!! Yeahhhh!!!! I am sooo excited! I am all set for this weekend, I got my hotel room and a ride Saturday morning. I am hoping to meet some really nice people along the way esply since my WW/workout buddy will not be here! But its kinda like that sometimes you have to do some things on your own. its kinda symbolic really its just like my weight loss journey I do have a buddy, my leader and even friends and family to support me but I am really on this journey by myself in most respects- ie., the choices I make on what to eat or not eat, to workout or not, to treat myself better it all comes back to me. Its a great mental shift to get to a place where you put yourself first.

I am going to begin a 8 week running program and my plan to run another 5k on my 32 *cringe* birthday in June and the program trains you for the following week's 5K. I am excited about the summer and where I will be. I am behind on my 50 lb goal. I am now 9lbs a way. 4 weeks ago I was only 4 lbs away its a learning process I aint mad but I would like to hit my 50 lb mark by May 16th almost 1 month behind my original deadline. But I am ok with that. I want my 60 lbs by my birthday and then the other 15 by end of July. I am learning and growing so much, and we don't do this in a vacuum we all have work stress, family issues, relationship dilemmas and all the rest. I have had some personal struggles throughout this journey and I am learning and growing and getting to a place where I can be a happier and healthier person all around!

Monday again!

2007-04-30T13:30:00.000-05:00

WOW What a wonderful weekend! I love my A-K-A I love it, I love it, I love it! I am apart of the Ethel Hedgeman Lyle Leadership Academy and we had our second forum this weekend. I was a bit stressed out but I had such a great time! Sorors did such a phenomial job with the group assignment I was blown away! They had the phenomenal speaker yesterday a sista from Univ of Maryland and she spoke on being a great leader and her focus was to be a great leader starts from the inside. Meaning it isn’t about your degrees, where you work, what you have it’s about your love of self, your spirituality, your character, etc. She was great it was exactly what I wanted and needed to hear. Her first point about the 6 tips to being great was PHYSICAL HEALTH! DO I NEED TO SAY ANY MORE??? I know that a common thread among the greatest leaders in most Fortune 500 companies is good health. Most CEO & CFO are diligent about their health b/c the perception is if you love and care for yourself you will care for me and my money moreover its shows you are in control; the flip side if you let yourself go people question your capabilities. That’s just a fact. People question your value and your worth and to be honest when you are an unhealthy person you do the same thing. A/w my point is I realized I need to become a leader that I would want to follow. It’s not about a dress size it’s about a healthy relationship with myself, with food, with my body, mind, and spirit. Being nearly 300 pounds I wasn’t there, a over 200 pounds I am still not there but its okay its a journey and a process I must work my way thru b/c ultimately I know my journey will serve as an example to others and while I don't plan to go back to school for a degree I want my life's work to be helping other women of color get to a happy and healthy place. So I am taking one for the team I guess (lol)

Tuesday

2007-04-24T12:59:00.000-05:00

Well I made it back to Bootcamp this morning. I skipped Monday and took off work and chilled till the afternoon. My sister is in town so she wanted to go to the Outlet and we went and I was able to get some Old Navy capri jeans One was a size 18! The other I got a 20. Wow! I havent seen the teen sizes in forever!!!! I feel good.

MY FIRST 5K!!!!!!

2007-04-21T13:12:00.000-05:00

Well I did it! I walk/jogged my first 3.1 mile race! WOW! Where do I begin oh yeah last night I went to see a friend's musical had a great time the plan was to NOT eat afterwards but we did anyway. We went to Famous Dave's ahhh it was good I had the catfish and a rib and chicken wing or two from the other people there. I did not get in until after midnight stayed on the phone till after 1am and then had the great idea to NOT pull out what I was going to wear before I went to bed....I woke up tired and full from all the food I had late last night so I didn't eat anything and took an apple. I used mapquest to find the park and printed directions while I took my shower (lol) I made it there then I couldn't find the building so I called a coworker who was helping to set up the event..I found a parking space on a side road and high-tailed it to the desk to get my number (#87 btw) I saw some other coworkers and a lady from my gym I was happy to see her b/c I knew she was going to walk and my WW/Workout buddy could not come. We had a local tv celeb do our warm up and then we were off I suggested we walk/jog and we began to jog and then we stopped. I felt good, strong and my Brooks (The Beast) wear so light I really felt the difference good sneakers can make. A/w at some point we hit Mile Marker 1 @ 19:37 they cheered us on we kept going, there were lots of hills but we had a water stand a little pass Mile Marker 1 and we all took a cup. We kept trucking and we had a little downhill action and speed up crossed the street and in the distance I saw another hill I wanted to push myself so I broke away from my fellow walkers and picked it up...there was downward slope so I took advantage of it and jogged @ Mile Marker 2 I heard a co worker say "38:15 youre doing great" I pushed and jogged some more I saw a family walking ahead of me I pushed again and told myself I am going to finish before them. I kept pushing and pushing my feet felt good, really good I love Brooks sneakers! I came around the bend and saw the Rec center so I knew the finish line was coming so I pressed pass the 2 older men I think to myself "2 down, 2 to go" I catch up to the husband and wife they try to pick up the pace when they hear me coming but Jay-z is pumping in my ipod "Competition is nada..." I push and I see the last hill I think "Damn another hill?" I pump my arms and I see my sister in the distance I hear people cheering me on I say what the hell I'll finish strong so I pick it up to a jog and check out the clock "54:36" The ladies I left in the distance come in under 1 hour which was their goal. It was a good day so good I went to the gym on the way home and did 20 mins on the elliptical. I am sorry I missed Body Combat but there's always tomorrow! I saw some of my workout buddies when I got to the gym they all gave me hugs and/ or said congrats on my 5K! I felt and still feel good! My 39.3 mile Avon Walk is in like 2 weeks so it was a great start to an awesome summer of races!

OK lessons learned 1. Do all the prep work no later than the day before (ie., what I plan to wear, -looking for the great $9 socks for 15 mins not good the morning of!-where I have to go (hoping mapquest doesn't screw me at the end of the trip- not good check it with a co worker/someone who knows the day before

2. Get a good night's sleep -no hanging out then on the phone till the wee hours of the morning !!! You don't do that on a pre gym day why on a 5K day??? Focus pleaseeeee

3. Re: I can move mountians if I want to!!!

So say thank you when people say congrats!!!!

Respect the power!

2007-04-19T07:30:00.000-05:00

I saw this posted on one of my other boards and I had to add it here. Ladies beware (lol)

You got to learn your man. Respect the penis power!
http://blog.wfmu.org/freeform/2007/04/another_excitin.html
FYI - this is NOT safe for work!!

Recap

2007-04-19T07:22:00.000-05:00

1. I know I been slackin'! Sorry bout that :0) I have been doing the 5:30am bootcamp I have had some up's & downs with my weight. Yesterday I was down 1.4 giving me a 41 pound total loss. To date I have lost as much as 45.6 I am working my way back.

2. Emotions are a big part of this weight loss game. I know I am an emotional eater and when things aren't going well I eat, when I am bored I eat, when I am sad I eat, when I am lonely I eat so basically any emotion I can muster up I will eat. That's a big piece of my weight loss puzzle. I am feeling better, stronger this week.

3. I sent my ww/workout buddy a email about our "issue" we spoke and we cleared the air

4. The Les Mills Probate ok i been joking with my friends that the ladies we know who got trained for body combat are probating (using the term to describe when members of African American fraternities or sororities are presented to the campus and they do a show of sorts) there is on lady S. who lost over 40 plus pounds on WW and she was one of the 3 to get trained OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE WAS AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! She is a sweet person and she is so nice but she SHOWED out doing her part of the routine! We were so proud of her!

5. Ok well back from the gym missed Bootcamp yesterday b/c of my Tuesday madwoman routine! A.w I am feeling good went o WW last night (have some stuff o do today and FRiday, and Sat is my 5K) and this girl I met a while back who also goes to my gym was there too she said she needed a meeting (lol) she was feeling down she has lost almost 90 pounds she began 2 months after me but she is hard core kinda like my sister and we had a chance to speak yesterday she wants to hit that 100 lb mark but she's been up and down. She has a new trainer (not the one at our gym anymore) and she said he is really good. I am going to call him Monday my WW/Workout buddy made a great point that we are the only ones holding back everyone else is getting personal trainers, reading books, etc. to get these great results she said maybe we want to do it by ourselves. I said maybe I always said I was going to wait until I hit my 50 lb mark to get a trainer but now I am thinking Why ? Why wait if I get to 50 by myself what does that mean when there are trained professionals that can really help me get to my goal? Not everyone can go to a courtroom and try a case it took 4 years of college, 3 years of law school, a 2 day 8 hour per day bar exam, and dedication and motivation to become an attorney...I am paid for my skills and my education and Lord knows I believe in capitalism it makes this country great... I don't clean well... so I pay someone b/c they can do it better... When I wan to look extra nice and get my hair done or do my nails I pay someone to do what they know how to do well... I wasnt dealing well with my "issues" so I pay a therapist....same thing should apply to my goal of being a healthier person there is more to it than just working out and trying to eat better. I have always be someone who wanted to make thing happen in my own time and in my own way I don't see why I am holding myself back...Well its time to get out of my own way again!
I went down 1.4 so I am at 41 pounds down again. My WW/Workout buddy didnt show to bootcamp or step I can't worry about her she is sounding upset and angry even in fact she said she was mad at herself for not knowing to do better I told her I am not mad or upset I am happy I am 40 plus pounds smaller than I have been in maybe 10 years...I went from wearing a 26/28 to a 20 I have no real beef but I wan to do better, build and improve on what I am doing. I still think i can hit my 75 by my bday. I am 9 away from 50 lbs this week is TOM so if I keep my food and workout on track I will get a good loss next Saturday. The girl I spoke to after the Weight Watchers meeting said she keeps a before picture with her t all times and anytime she wants to go off plan she looks at it. I asked her what got her on track this time she said she showed me the pic she keeps with her. I swear I did not recognize her if it wasnt for there being a man and a very light skin person in the pic and process of elimination I would not have been able to say that was her! I was shocked she said she was in tight 24's now her 14's a baggy she said when she got the pics back from her friends wedding in Ja. she was devastated b/c she KNEW she was fly and when she saw her self she joined the gym the next day and went to WW no special day (ie. her birthday, holiday, etc.) it Aug. 2nd and she hasnt looked back since. She is the bomb I dont know if I could be like that she is really strict but there is a happy medium in there for me!

My old friend & foe

2007-04-14T05:35:00.000-05:00

*Sigh* this was a bad week. It was a bad week last week too but this week I went over board like every day. I am dealing with a lot of losses on this journey and in retrospect the possibility of losing my WW/Workout buddy hit me kinda hard and I feel back to my old faithful friend (and foe) food. I guess I need to start from the top I have a good friend who seems bent on not acknowledging my weight loss at all I must fish for compliments or brag on myself for them to say a word and its usually "Oh that's good" I saw them 3 weeks ago and at that point I was 45.6 pounds lighter and that would be almost 20 pounds smaller than the last time he saw me but still not a word. I felt ok about that b/c I was soooo proud of myself that it didn't affect me (or at least I don't think it did) the way it would have 6 months ago. My size 20 jeans my 1X sweater What? I was cute and they knew it and they didn't say anything but it was ok the looks by the men in the restaurant said enough ;0) My workout/WW buddy and I went out shopping that weekend & at my insistence she tried on a 14 and it just about fit I encouraged her to get it! I tried on a nice size 20 Tahari Suit and it fit but with plenty of room it was such a good deal I couldnt leave it(good stuff)! The next weekend we went out shopping again and she got some 14s to try on I got some 18/20s and it was all good. But then they had sweaters on sale like $6 they were 14/16 but I figured they would be fine for the fall. A/w I realized the blouse I tried on was kinda loose so I said to myself "Self try on a 14/16 for the hell of it." And it fit yall! Now I know I am not a 14/16 but this 14/16 fit me! I havent worn a 14/16 since I was 14-16 okay! More than elated I was shocked the idea that I was able to wear this was amazing to me I showed it to my workout buddy and she said "Well its a very forgiving shirt" not exactly untrue, I guess but that's the first thing that comes to your mind and mouth? I try on the sweaters and she says "Well its stretch cotton what did you expect" At that point I got the point and shut up. That's where the problem lies I am working on dealing with my emotions I know I am an emotional eater and rather than pulling her aside and squashing it I bottled it up and I ate and ate and ate.... Old pattern, familiar pattern. Last week I went up 4.4 and this week 1.4 which means in 2 weeks I went from being 4.6 pounds away from my 50 pounds to now being 10.2 pounds all based on not dealing with my emotions.

I got advice from everyone (that's how I do) and I got everything from cut her off she is jealous and salty to stand by and support her even more. The best advice was to confront her (ok not the word she used but you know what I mean) lol I am not being on calling people out hence the years of binge eating to feel better in that way rather than getting what I really need. What I really needed this week was for her to apologize for being insensitive and belittling my success, what I really need is the same supportive buddy I had when we were 40 pounds away rather than 15 pounds away from each other, what I really need is for her to understand I need reciprocity in all my relationships and what she said and how she behaved was not in the spirit of friendship. 3 weeks ago I did not minimize her success when she got into a 14 top even though the skirt was a bit tight I ENCOURAGED and told her to get it b/c she'd be in there soon and could wear the top of the suit now anyway with another pair of pants. *exhaling*

I cracked the code on this weight loss thing I'm 8 mths in and 40 pounds less than I was when I started. This is the most success I have had since I've been over weight which is since high school. I haven't worn a 18-20 since I was a 18-20 year old that was over a decade ago. I want my friends to celebrate that I can't sit here and say it doesn't matter to me because it does. Not acknowledging it is a green light for old patterns old behaviors old ways of finding comfort and acceptance I am soooooooooo over that I want to be healthy and happier and I want to be free.

The ad for my upcoming 5K

2007-04-09T12:14:00.000-05:00

T:\PSA\Fund_Run_PSA.wmv

This was so cool I had to post it! Only 12 days away! I am wayyy behind on training!! I gotta get a move on this week!

Back of the rack!

2007-04-06T14:36:00.000-05:00

It hit me yesterday I no longer have to look at the back of the rack when I go shopping! I am so use to wearing sizes 26/28 & 22/24 (always placed at the back of the rack) I found myself doing it yesterday over and over again finally I stopped and said to myself "You don't need to shop from the back of the rack any more! You are a middle of the rack shopper now!" I found a size 20 Michale Kors pair of jeans that are soooo cute! My sister scolded me for spending the $49.00 she said that wasn't a real sale :0/ But I love them! My fundraiser went well my Sorors showed up in big numbers and also gave me checks! It felt so good to be supported! My 5K is in 2 weeks *yikes* I need to get back to my C25K!

Avon Walk

2007-04-05T14:03:00.000-05:00

Well I am 30 days away from my Avon Breast cancer Walk. Tonight is my fundraiser at Chevy's I pray I have a good turnout!!! I emailed my Sorors, friends, family & co-workers! I am at $448 I need to raise $1,800 they will give you up to 1 month afterwards to raise the rest but I really want to hit goal by the walk. Here's the webpage if you'd like to give a few bucks :0) http://info.avonfoundation.org/site/TR?px=3214552&pg=personal&fr_id=1270&s_tafId=146716 My Dr. gave $50 and another Soror gave $25 so actually I am at $523.00 I sent a bunch of emails to people to remind them of my goal some gave today on the spot. I asked for $10.00 if everyone I know gives me that I should be able to double my donations. *fingers crossed*

What others cannot do for you

2007-04-03T15:27:00.000-05:00

In this journey there are things that I am learning about myself and the people in my life. Others can encourage and motivate you but in the end you have to know you are doing this for yourself because your body needs it and you deserve to be a happier and healthier person. A few months ago I was really bothered by a good friend of mine who didn't give me the outside affirmation I thought they should have given me for losing weight and looking better. I posted on the WW 100+ board and got mixed answers one person said she never looked to anyone else to make her feel better about what she was doing. I replied I am a recovering people pleaser so I hope I can feel like that one day. Well yesterday was the day, this same friend and I went out we have not seen each other in a few months and I wore a nice 1x sweater and my size 20 jeans -they knew me when I was wearing size 26/28's-barely fitting in them in fact- a/w the 20's are now a lil loose and they didn't say a word and it didn't hurt or bother me. I felt so good about how I KNEW I looked I didn't give a rat's behind it they didn't say congrats, you look good, good job... That is HUGE for me and I can't tell you how good that felt to realize I didn't need to hear someone else tell me I was doing a good job or looked great b/c I already knew! That is all part of my journey to wellness and its such an empowering experience!

50 Pound magnet- I WANT YOU!

2007-04-03T15:06:00.000-05:00

Well Week 3 of Core went very well I lost 5 pounds!!!!! I am firmly in a new weight zipcode!!! I have not been this size for at least 7 years! it was exciting to hear "You're down 5" I was surprised!!! Totally! I was thinking 2 lbs. for sure but 3 lbs would be great! I am now only 4.4 away from my 50 pound magnet ! WOW! Over the past 7 on & off years I have done WW I never even hit my 10% before this year (2006) but when i did I just knew I could really do it this time! I went shopping with my WW/Workout buddy this weekend after my Step/Kickboxing teacher told me I needed to get some workout clothing that fit (lol) the WW 100 + board people helped out with some great places to shop. The stuff I had I've had forrrrr at least 7 years I am 45 lbs smaller I guess I saw it in my work clothing but didnt think to upgrade my gym stuff! But she was right I see a HUGE difference in the mirror! HUGE! I actually get caught up in staring at myself and forget to do a kick or a punch in class (lol) I went to JC penny and found some more stuff on clearance so I am so excited! Ohhh Saturday we went to an outlet mall and there was a Lane Bryant and I got some 14/16 sweaters and 1 top the others I got in 18/20's -Let's just pause for a second... a SIZE 18/20 & 14/16???!!!! I know I am not a 14/16 its the style of the shirt and sweater but still!!! The 18/20 was so loose I said let me try on a 14/16 and it fit it was a lil tight but I could wear it! My workout buddy found some stuff too in a 14/16 it fit her a lot better (lol) but we're kinda in a weird place when she came to WW from LA Weight loss she was maybe was 30 pounds less now we are like 15 pounds away from each other she went from giving me hand-me-down to us being able to fit into the same size be it ever so slightly. Good feeling!!!

Core makes you work for it...plan for it.. appreciate it... Doing Core in a better way ie., not using all my APs for non core foods really makes a difference! It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be eating the snacks got to be a habit it wasn't b/c I really wanted any of that stuff I just got use to eating that number of points. The food you eat on Core helps to make you feel full and therefore snacking isn't that much of an issue. It was a great week I ate out at an organic restaurant and even had crab dip and flour less chocolate cake! This is a lifestyle not a diet its all a matter of getting the right fuel for your body!

More than 1/2 thru Core week 3

2007-03-29T08:51:00.000-05:00

Well I am more than 1/2 thru Core Week 3 (really Week 1 the right way or the best way). It is amazing how full I feel almost all the time. When you get the right kind of foods you almost can't overeat! I found this good website of a WW 100+ board member and I have seen it before but someone it didn't hit home enough for me to be on the look out for this trap. I guess everything happens in its own time...but this is someone who lost a lot of weight w/ WW but realized she was not losing as much as she could b/c of the "Point" situation. Now she was not eating too many but she was eating too many items that were higher in calories but were still considered 1 or 2 points (I posted the link below check it out)http://www.freewebs.com/sputnikdeb/practicaltips.htm maybe it was over my head the first time I read it or maybe I had to go thru it to truly get it but its true a 1 pt carrot cake can have as much has 120 calories plus some fat vs. a 1 point apple or orange which has almost 1/2 the calories and 0 fat. I think WW is the best program bar none but that is a glitch in the matrix. I think a lot of overweight people get caught up in this point issue and when they stop losing weight they get fustrated and quit. I know b/c I've been there and I think we can lose sight of the calories in, calories out equation and points are a good short hand but we need to follow the 8 Healthy Guidelines and limit the sugary items whihc have more calories and opt for fruits or veggies as snacks first!

Why I love my gym!

2007-03-28T07:44:00.000-05:00

My gym & doing WW has been equally important to me in terms of my weight loss journey b/c like WW my gym is a very supportive environment! Last night my fave Step & Kickboxing teacher came up to me after class and told me I needed to buy some new workout clothing b/c the ones I had on were too big (lol) She said "I am going to tell you like I told S. when she started to lose weight get out of these things so you can see yourself better. This stuff is just too big for you now." I laughed b/c she was right and I told her my sister tried to get me to throw out some of these things last week but I didn't! So she said yes buy yourself some cute gym stuff as she shook her finger at me! lol

Day 1 ~ Core in Review

2007-03-27T14:06:00.000-05:00

Well after much thought & soul searching I made up my mind to do Core the right way and pace myself with the snacks. And ya know what it wasn't bad at all! Here's what I did...

Monday 3-26-07
B
Egg sub, 2 slices Can. bacon, 2 slices Trader Joe bread (1pt for Non core)
1/2 cup of shred. wheat & 1/2 cup fat free milk
S
Apple, orange, grapes, grapefruit
L
5 oz roasted rosemary chicken breast
WW cous cous
veggies
sugar free jello
S
carrots & 1 TBsp of Better than peanut butter (1pt)
yogurt
D
Shepard's pie (ground turkey w/ veggies w/ red potatoes and cauliflower mashed and baked on top)- (Core)
Apple betty (baked apples, oatmeal, splenda, raisins, and can’t believe its not butter)(2pts-for raisins & can't believe its not butter)

Used only 2 pts for non core foods

I did not eat until 12 noon today b/c I was STILL so full from yesterday! Here is a look at my menu from last week

B
3 oz London broil w/ 1 egg
S
Pear
Soy chips 4pts
L
Salmon
Spinach
1/2 baked sweet potato
S-apple w/ Caramel sauce (3pts)
D
Meatloaf
1/2 sweet potato
S-carrots
Laughing cow cheese (1pt)
Crackers (2pts)
1 heresy chocolate stix (1pt)
Strawberries

2 Macaroons (2pts)

I used 9 poiunts for non core foods! I am sure I will see a difference at my weigh in on Saturday! I looked over my old journals and its the same thing too many non core items or sugary/strachy items they were within my points which is why I have lost weight butttttt 1 pound a week vs. 2-3 pounds.... That's the question! Also the things I had were not like full fat ice cream or cookies they were "diet friendly" sugar free pudding, soy chips, rice cakes, etc. My sister said I didn't want to feel like I was on a diet so i let myself have those things. I agree but I need to fuel my body in the right way. The past 2 weeks most of my APs were going to Non core items rather than protein etc. So I am going to clean that up and see how things go.

CROSSROADS

2007-03-26T12:08:00.000-05:00

I was up .4 this week, its TOM so a gain was expected not bad but I need to make some power moves.

Well this weekend I saw a girl at the gym that joined WW I think in Jan? A/w she is also a Soror and she is down 25 pounds! I spoke w/ my WW/Workout buddy and told her and she was shocked! I was too to be honest b/c that means she has lost more than 1/2 of what i have lost since last summer and 6-7 pounds more than my WW/Workout buddy has since the Fall! A/W we had a candid discussion about our progress and I realized some things about our journey. 1) Neither of us has even been 'skinny'- I was a "normal" size child and got a lil bigger in middle school I went to Boarding school in JA. and lost a lot of the baby fat when I came back, in terms of US standards I was the 'skinny' girl I still considered/ saw myself as being chucky b/c in the islands I was still considered bigger than others. A/w I slowly gained weight in 8th grade by eating all the junk I could get my hands on and not wanting to play sports (God forbid my newly acquired perm be messed up!) a/w throughout High school I gained but I was never the biggest girl I went from a size 9/10 -9th grade to a size 16 by graduation. So for all of my adult life I have been overweight! My learning process when it comes to diet and exercise is going to be different from someone like my sister who was "normal" size most of her life and gained weight in her 20's or like my Soror who went into size 16's when work started but has a size 10 jeans to try and get back into. I don't have a size 10 anything..well except my hot Anne Klien shoes! I am so happy to be out of 26/28s and 24's for that matter I don't even have a concept of what I would even look like in anything smaller than a size 20 which I haven’t worn since sometime in college. Getting into a size 20 Tahari suit (with room) this weekend was amazing! Same for my WW/Workout buddy she got into a size 14 Liz C. suit bottom was a lil too tight but she has been between a 24 and a 22 for most of her adult life too.

But all that is to say I look at my progress (about 1 pound a week) and I am wondering why I can't get back to my 2-3 pound a week loss. My sister is doing about 3lbs and her routine is very strict I looked over my journal and I am still eating a lot of junk food. My WW/Workout buddy made the point that I didn't want to feel like I was on a "diet" and I agree this is a new lifestyle for me something I want to teach my children and my family and friends so I am not in a race against the clock but I think it is time I clean up my eating habits. I typically have 3-4 sugary/carb snacks like fat free puddings, Quaker chewy bars, special K bars, pria bars, etc. When my sister’s weight loss is amazing b/c she limits that to 1 per day maybe 2 on the weekend only!

So I am at a crossroads of sorts 1 pound a week is GREAT in 1 year = 52 pounds,and I am really ahead b/c I am at 41 pounds and it is March my 1 year WW-versary is June 24th. In 2 years @ 2 lbs a week = 104 pounds WOW! But with the level of working out I am doing I could be seeing 2 pounds a week in a year if my food was better that over 100 pounds in the same time frame! Now I am not disappointed by any means b/c food has been my best-est friend for years and I needed baby steps to get buy-in that I coula actually do this. Now I know the skies the limit and I can do this it just a matter of how long do I want to take to get to my goal. That my friends is a goooodddd feeling. I don;t know that I ever knew that I could do this before.... but I know I can do better in terms of my food and cut back to even 1 snack a day vs. 2-3 snacks. My WW leader told us when she has a Weight watchers carrot cake that is her SERVING of bread for the day! Now I will have bread, red potatoes, deserts and then another carrot cake. Now that vs. where I was a year ago when I would have a Chicken Out carrot cake, eat at Red Robin and maybe have pizza for dinner I have become a new person! My journey is never ending I accepted that challenge when I began...I knew I was going to have to change and grow and be open to advice form others even baby sis who I took to WW a few short months ago!

My first order of business was to write out my menu for the week w/o sugary/hi crab snacks and guess what I am at 21-26 points per day that means I am usually adding almost 8-10 points per day of crap like chocolate, bars, etc. that’s a lot of extra. My first step is to try a fruit first then pick one snack per day any extras I think I want I will wait till the weekend. We’ll see how it goes!

I forgot! 50 & Fab!

2007-03-21T06:47:00.000-05:00

I had this wonderful sub on Sunday at the gym! Her name is Andy and she was AWESOME!!!!!She taught Spinning and Body Pump! She works for Les Mills (link on my website) and a local university!!! She was 50 but looks like late 30's early 40's maybe! She told us that the only true fountain of youth is being active b/c it creates new cells and as women we give so much to others that we have to take time for ourselves to doing something like working out and we should eat well in order to reap the overall benefits of a healthy lifestyle. She teaches step 3 days a weeka nd let me tell you she gave a gooood ride in spinning class! Now that is a new goal of mine teaching people 1/2 my age how to be healthy! She was so inspiring I just had to add that!

Hump Day!

2007-03-21T06:24:00.000-05:00

Well its Weds. life is good, last night my WW/Workout buddy and I got back into the Level 4 (per Bob Green) fitness routine. I did my couch to 5 k program (20 mins) Body Step (50 mins) and then Body Pump (60 mins). We have both been slacking on the strength training so yesterday was great! So we have the 2 ST (strength training) classes in already (Sunday & Tuesday)! I told the Body Pump teacher if she sees me leaving I give her permission to grab me between now and the fall she said not a problem! (lol) I am not sure how we slacked off so much but seeing my sister's progress really kicked started us to tighten up. I lost about 14 pounds in the same time (not bad) my WW/Workout buddy about 1/2 that I think. I suggested we exchange our food journals to help with being more accountable.

BIG FYI IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW!!!! My WW meeting leader was talking about the 2 point WW ice cream bars 1 bar is 2 pts but in order to calculate 2 bars you do the actual numbers (calories, fat, & fiber) it turns out to be 5 points for 2.

She said she emailed WW Corp and they said that it is true!

Like the Hershey stick 60 cal/3 fat/0 fiber= 1 point
but for 2 you have to put in 120 cal /6 fat/0 fiber= 3 points

Buyer beware!!!

~~~~~~~~~~ I think that may be the source of both of our problems. But now we know what to do! I am not saying 1 pound a week (which is about my average at this point, is bad but I workout 5 days a week for 1 hour- 1-1/2hrs I can do better I think if I watch what I am eating b/c technically if the points/serving size miscalculation is part if my issue then I now know I am eating too many points unknowingly! But my famous WW take home lesson is knowledge is power! So now that I know better I will do better!

I tried the 60 cal. Hersey stix they are good 1 point for 1- 3points for 2! Needless to say I have been able to have just one without temptation! Its worth it for 1 point but not 3!

A/w I had some issues at school that stressed me out but got it squared away I am doing a Masters in Negotiations & Conflict Management and now I have a paper to finish by Nov. in order to graduate and I am happy! The other option I was trying and it became to overwhelming w/ my hectic work schedule and working out and just life. The prof. was making the class up as he went along and that became frustrating b/c he wanted a lot more from our class that the class that took this class in the fall so I didn't understand what he was expecting plus he gave us a reading list at week 5 and kept adding readings to the reading list of which I printed at least 6 inches of articles!!! Meanwhile I needed to do my own research on top of sorting thru his!?! We met yesterday and I am doing the 'old' version of this class which is very straight forward. De-stressing is absolutely the best feeling! I will not be as rushed and I can present a better quality project.

What else is new? I got my email invite to Sisthas on WW! I am excited! I knew there had to be something like that out here! Can't wait to jump in! Well off to court! See ya!

41 AND COUNTING!

2007-03-17T18:18:00.000-05:00

Well I broke past the 40 pound mark today! I did Core this week and realllllly did it. I also spent the week at home on vacation a much needed break from work and my other activities that usually keep me busy and away from home. This was a great week of rest and relaxation in my own space! A/w I am proud of the fact that I was able to not over eat while at home I remember a time when staying home for any extended period meant eating everything in sight and ordering take out all the time. No more... Control is a great feeling.

I went the gym yesterday and got my butt kicked in this Step class that was just unlike the Body Step I usually take but change is good I got a good sweat on and that's what counts! Also I did the Week 2 Workout 1 of the C25K running program. I did my walk at 3.0 and my run/jog @ 3.5 it was 90 seconds jog and 2 mins walk and I was able to do it. I pushed myself and it felt excellent!!!

Next week I want to really stay focused and plan, plan, plan. That is the thing with Core you must plan and cook to stay on track. I'll be honest and admit I counted points while on Core, they say you shouldn't but I am still learning how to get the feeling full/satisfied point down and I guess this helps me to be sure I am not overeating! Next week I am back to work and I will need to be on point with watching out for my stress level and making sure I Core proof my home. I hit up Trader Joe's got some plums, grapefruits, salad, and frozen veggies. I also went to the supermarket and got salmon, London broil, and ground beef and veggies. I have a meeting tomorrow AFTER I get my 3 workouts in. I am learning how to cut back and I am offering 2 hours of my help and then going home. Gotta be selfish! (But in a good way) :0)

Last day

2007-03-16T06:18:00.000-05:00

Well today is he last day of my vacation! I sooo enjoyed it! I really do not want to go back to work (lol) but I guess that is normal. I can't wait to find a job that I am truly passionate about. A/ I woke up this morning early as usual and did my morning routine and watched I Lost It on Discovery. I do that everyday just about but I need to start getting back to the gym in the morning to do my Couch to 5k running program, no excuse why i haven't even started week 2 yet. Ahhh confession time, last night my sister and I had Outback wings and coconut shrimp I just had to know what I had point wise so I re: the website www.calorieking.com from an article I read and sure nuff they had the info ok the coconut shrimp was 16pts and the wings...are u ready??? 29 points!!!!!!!!!!!!! We split both but still that was apoints blow out if I went to Step a planned it would have been ok but I stayed home and just chilled. I am over by 8 points on my 35 flex now I am not going to rack my brain to figure out the outcome if I was doing flex but I am counting points to keep my portions in check as a guide and I was maybe 1 or 2 over not adding in my Activity points of which I have 45 already. I would be remiss in my journey if I did not acknowledge some stress going on I have $$ issues b/c 1) I do not budget properly 2) I am careless 3) I need a better job I had car issues last week I had to get a service job that was almost $500 and like 2 days later I had to turn around an get 4 new tires and an alignment another $450+ all unexpected but needed b/c I need a working car and I didn't want to wait until each tire went flat one at a time. On top of that there are some man issues. A situation I thought I resolved keeps coming back and I seem powerless to stop it cold. I am getting better with controlling my feeling and impulses but its still a stressful situation. And lastly, school my
Professor is a pain in the ass but I found a solution to that problem and will address it with him shortly. See? And I almost didn't write any of that and when I looked back or when someone read this I would have missed the opportunity to realize/help someone else realize how much stress plays a part in our eating habits! This will always be something I and others need to be mindful of! That's a process learning to check in with myself and my feelings!

I am going to an 8:30 step class I am happy I now need exercise like I need food & water, its empowering and helps me on so many levels.

I know someday someone will read this and it will serve as affirmation or encouragement; I'm not saying become an athlete overnight but the feeling of power and accomplishment I experience after I do any workout is intoxicating. When you can do something others can't or things you think you can't and then you do it....ahhhhh its the best self esteem boost you can get!!! The best parts its not from a man or any other outside superficial source it's something you do for yourself that no one can take away from you!

Day 4

2007-03-15T10:33:00.000-05:00

Well its day 4 of my vacation and I am loving it! I know Day 4 means only 1 day is left but the joy of this day cannot be overshadowed! ;0) I didn't make it to the gym last night b/c I took a late nap (lol) my WW/Workout buddy made it she said it was a good class she is behind on her workouts I am at 45 AP's althought I've used most for non core food :0/

I guess Saturday (weigh in) will let me know if that is a good or bad way to go about Core. It is not as hard as my prior attempts at Core I think b/c I am using the APs and really watching what I have and being diligent with my journaling. I am still snacking a bit in part to being home w/ lil sis visiting she has taken over my car which isnt a big deal b/c this vacation was all about staying home and getting rid of old clothing that's too big. Its weird I am now in 20/22's (mostly 22's) but I still have a lot of 24's they are too big but money-wise I am not able to buy a much of things now plus I am not stopping at this point maybe when I get firmly into 18's I'll do some major investing thank God my Mom is a shop-a-holic and she is at a stage where she doesn't need a lot of her professional clothing she sent a few suits with my sister they are 18's & 20's a lil tight but they got on!! I have not fit into a 18's/20's since the early 90's (lol) man its unreal.

NSV (Non-scale victories) are great milestones moments I can look back and say wow you have really come a long way. Yesterday I began an ebay store to get rid of some of my 26/28 suits and dresses. We'll see how that goes, a woman @ WW who lost over 100 pounds told me she took a lot of her nicer things to a consignment shop so if sales don't go well I will do that. A/w I posted a new photo from yesterday I was able to fit into a pink AKA button down shirt I bought last year I thought it was sooo cute and when I got home the darn thing didn't fit! It was a good feeling to button it up and have room :0)

Ahhh working out

2007-03-13T06:31:00.000-05:00

...is my salvation! I went to the gym yesterday night I almost didn't go but I am on vacation this week and I said that would be terrible to not go for 1 class! I like where I am now I can remember a time when if the thought crossed my mind to not go that is all I needed and it would be a no go. I am getting there...a happier and healthier place. This week I am doing Core I am really pressed to hit my 50 lbs mark if I could do that in a few weeks I would be so excited. My good friend made a comment about my pictures telling me how good I looked etc. and I was telling her that when the smoke cleared (meaning all the other things on my to do list were done) I was left with weight loss as my last outstanding goal and after taking the seminar on goal setting I realized I was not clear on if this was really a goal or not which seemed crazy why wouldn't I want to lose weight ? Lo and behold there are many reasons but I finally had that talk with myself and made up my mind that this was my goal and I had all the power to make it happen. She said to me "well you know how you are you love a challenge so that's what this is and you know NO ONE will tell you you can't do something!" I said "I guess not even if it is me telling me I can't do it huh?" She said "Exactly!" That was good insight for me, really good b/c I never thought about it in that way but I being on blood pressure meds, having pain in my legs and backs, clothing not fitting, etc. did not motivate me but the idea that I was holding myself back? Ohhh noooo budddy not gonna happen :0) I am a funny person!

New Blog- Welcome!

2007-03-12T20:19:00.000-05:00

Well I was inspired to create a new blog ! I am on a serious journey to wellness and the online community is so supportive and a blog is a great way to stay on track and memoralize my journey. To date I have lost 40 pounds by doing Weight Watchers & working out. I have learned a lot so far and I know its an ongoing process but I made up my mind in 2006 to really give 110% in both areas and see what happens and lo and behold it really started to come together.